Bullying and Schools: What You Need to Know?

You send your child off to school with the hope that they will have a wonderful day and learn as much as they can. Your child comes home crying because they are being picked on, you feel helpless.  What do you do?  Do you ignore it? Call the school?  Tell your child to retaliate?   Unfortunately kids across the nation are dealing with the issue of bullying.  There has been plenty of media attention on the subject.  It is an issue that schools take seriously.

Speaking personally as an educator in Florida, I have first hand experience in working with my districts anti-bullying policy.  It is a policy based on the Jeffrey Johnson Stand up For All Kids Act which was adopted into law in the state of Florida.  It requires educators to report bullying and districts to have a set policy in handling bullying.  In our district we actually have a database to track cases to look for patterns of bullying and outline the steps the school has taken.  Many districts across the district have similiar policies.  Parents can be encouraged that standing up against bullying is being emphasized among school staff.

What is the definition of bullying.  Bullying is simply more than name calling.  Bullying is a repeated hurtful action done with the intent of causing harm (emotional or physical) to the victim. There is an imbalance of power of some sort (popularity, phyisical size, strength, aggressiveness). Bullying creates an intimidating environment that gets in the way of student learning.  Cyberbullying is a bullying action which are acted upon using technology such as texting, e-mails, social networks and websites.  If cyberbullying occurs and it spills over to interfering with the school learning environment schools can take action.

The participants in a bullying situation form what is known as the bullying triangle.  Involved are the bully, the victim and the bystanders.  The most powerful part of the triangle is the bystander.  They are the bully's audience.  By their inaction they are stating that what the bully is doing is ok.  If the bystanders encourage the bully that makes the situation worse.  If the bystanders stand together and tell the bully to stop, tell a school staff member, or talk to the victim and get them to walk away from the bully they are telling the bully that this behavior is not ok.  Many schools have anonymous reporting methods so that a bystander who tells will not be viewed as a snitch.

So what do you do with your children when it relates to bullying? If your child is being bullied tell the school. Schools can't stop what they don't know about. Bullying does not stop when people stay quiet. Encourage your child not to be a bystander to bullying.  Explain the difference between tattling and telling. Remember telling helps, tattling is an effort  to just get someone in trouble. Remember the goal is to get the bullying to stop.  The school will investigate all sides of the alleged bullying.  A conflict is very different than one sided bullying.  Finally teach your children tolerance for others. Let them know that no one has ever gotten ahead by putting someone down.